


It always ends in blood

by EmpireOfTheClouds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Drabble, Episode: s12e21 There's Something About Mary, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Grieving Sam Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester-centric, Season/Series 12, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpireOfTheClouds/pseuds/EmpireOfTheClouds
Summary: Eileen is dead and Sam just can't cope
Relationships: (one-sided), Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 7





	It always ends in blood

Jody's voice rang in his ears even after he had finished the call.  
"Eileen". "Dead". "Animal attack". (Hellhound.)  
Words that made no sense when put together in a sentence and that were now filling every cell of his aching head, which was unable to comprehend their true weight - their true gravity.  
Words that felt like a stab through the heart - the only difference being the lack of the reassuring feeling that it would all be over soon.  
Why couldn't it have been him?  
Eileen did nothing wrong - nothing at all. Eileen was the epitome of purity and beauty of the soul, perfect in every way he could imagine. She was kind, brave, strong, and had a heart made of gold.  
He always thought she didn't deserve him - someone as broken and fucked up as himself was better off alone, doing what he knew best. Hunting. Doing the hard work so that the world can peacefully sleep at night while he stays up reading lore, searching for cases.  
It was the natural way of things. As much as he used to hate it, he couldn't refuse that it had become one with him - with who he was. Him and hunting were one and the same, and even if sometimes he wished he could go back to normal, he knew it was impossible. It would follow him everywhere he went, everywhere he settled.  
And even if his love was a hunter as well, it would never be meant to happen. Hunters tend to live short lives. Hunters tend to die young and bloody, violently and lonely, their only companion their own courage and their loyalty in the greater good, their purpose.  
How he hoped it would somehow be different with Eileen, and how foolish he was to do so.  
Eileen didn't deserve him.  
But she surely didn't deserve this, either.  
A life this ugly, this cruel, this bloody.  
And a death even uglier, even more cruel.  
Even bloodier.

**Author's Note:**

> Still sad about Eileen's death 2k19 squad where you at


End file.
